Part 4: Allyship Scenarios

We all need to recognize common behaviors in academic spaces that are harmful toward minority students and make positive changes. Listed below are various scenarios with harmful and helpful responses. Remember we are always learning to be better allies.

Scenario #1: Communication

A head of laboratory has specific expectations for  how a new graduate student should present their work, but has not communicated this effectively. The graduate student has now presented  in a way that is not in alignment with the standards in the lab.

Harmful response 😢 : The mentor assumes that the graduate student will learn as they go! After their presentation the mentor blames the graduate student for their mistakes.

Allyship in practice 😊: Define and communicate your expectations from the beginning and as the relationship evolves. Be willing to adjust your expectations!

Scenario #2: Unrealistic Expectations

A mentor has placed high expectations on the research of their protege. The mentee questions their ability to achieve these goals and feels intense imposter syndrome.

Harmful response 😢: The mentor leaves the mentee alone to deal with their insecurities or the mentee asks for help, but the mentor ignores this request.

Allyship in practice 😊: Create intermediate reachable goals to empower your mentee. Help them mitigate their fear of failure by having a conversation about it!

Scenario #3: Misgendering

A member of your lab uses they/them pronouns. They have come out to your lab, but are often misgendered by your head of laboratory.

Harmful response 😢: Say nothing and hope that the person stands up for themselves. Apologize to them afterward and suggest ways that they can advocate for themselves.

Allyship in practice 😊: Remind the head of lab of this person’s pronouns when misgendering occurs. If the behavior is not changed, bring the topic up in a 1:1 meeting with the head of lab.

Scenario #4: Outing

A trainee has been outed to their community as LGBTQIA+ by a peer without their consent.

Harmful response 😢: Pretend it never happened or confront the outed trainee in a public setting and ask them questions about how they identify.

Allyship in practice 😊: Check in with the trainee in private to make sure they are alright! Have a discussion with the peer that outed this trainee so they understand the implications of their actions.

All content in the Guide to LGBTQIA+ Allyship for Mentors is shared under Creative Commons BY-NC 4.0. The whole guide is available for download as a PDF from the Save & Share menu.